Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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