I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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