I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
