before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
