So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
