Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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