Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
