Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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