the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
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Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
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And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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