All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
