I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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