I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
