I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
