Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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