Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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