i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize