I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
