Whod you bang
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
