There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
