I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
