The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
