thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
