I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
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Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
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Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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