he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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