ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
