I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
