Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
