I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
