And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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