would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
