Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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