great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I wear drunk well.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize