Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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