how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
