I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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