you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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