Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
