Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
