Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
