i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
