Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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