Where are you?
In a non slutty way
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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