Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I woke up under a house in Key West
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