i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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