i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
