Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
