There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
