??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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