ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
