Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
