no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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