her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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