getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
