So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
