i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Bring me that man meat
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