my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm at about main and main street
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
