Do you still have your period?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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