Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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