Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
be right there i have to get my cape
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
