$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
my poor anus
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
